


Evil Is, As Evil Does

by Settiai



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s06e07 Once More With Feeling, Friendship, Gen, Juvenilia, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-29
Updated: 2002-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-06 16:59:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Settiai/pseuds/Settiai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you get when you add a vampire, a teenage girl, and a list of "Things More Evil Than Spike?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evil Is, As Evil Does

**Author's Note:**

> I was still in junior high. Don't judge me.

  
_The curtains close on a kiss, god knows,  
We can tell the end is near.  
Where do we go from here?  
Where do we go from here?_   


As their final musical number ended, the members of the Scooby gang slowly looked around at each other - no one sure of exactly what to say. After a few moments of silence, Anya slowly cleared her throat and looked around the building.

"Um... did anyone see where Buffy went?"

Dawn gave a weak smile as she looked at the door her sister had gone out of. She silently looked away from the others. "Yeah, I saw her go outside. I'll go check on her. You guys just... stay here."

The others looked at each other, understanding exactly why Dawn was telling them to stay. The teenage girl shot them one more glance before slowly heading out the door. As soon as she left, Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya looked at each other worriedly.

Willow's eyes looked red, as if she were holding back tears. She slowly let her gaze go to Giles, but she could see the anger - and hurt - shining in his eyes. The witch let out a quiet sigh as she sank to her knees.

"God, what did I do?"

*

Dawn started around the corner of the building, prepared for almost everything - except for what she saw. Spike and Buffy were kissing with each other, but even Dawn could see that there was something different about this time.

When Buffy had kissed Angel, and even Riley, there had still been a small bit of longing in the expression on her sister's face. This time, however, the look of longing was completely gone. She smiled just a little at the thought of that, then she thought about what Buff might do if she saw Dawn watching the two of them.

Quickly, the teenage girl snuck back behind the building. Then, in a loud voice so that they would be sure to hear her, she loudly called out, "Buffy, are you out here somewhere!?"

Dawn smiled just a little as she heard her sister and Spike pull apart from each other very quickly. She wiped the smile off of her face, and replaced it with what she hoped was a curious one as she walked around the corner. "Buff-- oh, there you are."

She saw Spike hurrying away out of the corner of her eyes, but she didn't say a word about it as she walked over to where her sister was standing. As she got closer to her sister, she suddenly remembered the startling news that had come out earlier. Without meaning to, a slightly nervous expression appeared on her face.

"Hey, Buffy. What are you doing out here?"

Buffy sighed slightly before walking over to where Dawn was standing. Then, with a forced laugh, she put her arms around her little sister.

"I'm not doing anything, Dawnie. I was just... thinking. Come on, we better go back in. I'm sure that the guys will have some... questions."

Dawn couldn't help but look up when Buffy said the word 'questions.' It wasn't what she had said, but the way she had said it. She had almost spat it out, like it was something nasty. The teen sighed quietly. It looked like the next couple of days weren't going to be very pleasant.

*

Dawn let out a quiet sigh as she flipped through the TV channels once again. There just didn't seem to be anything on worth watching. With another sigh, she pushed the 'off' button and tossed the remote onto the floor. Then, she quickly let her eyes wander over to the clock hanging on the wall.

She couldn't help but feel just a little neglected as she sank back down into her seat. Buffy had been patrolling even longer than usual lately, Willow and Tara were once again trying to work out some of their problems by going out to dinner, Xander and Anya were working on plans for their wedding practically non-stop, and Giles was... busy with something or another.

Dawn so bored that she almost got up to go work on her homework. When she heard the kitchen door swing open though, she quickly put that thought out of her mind. Quietly, she stood up and headed towards the kitchen. It was probably just one of the guys, but you never knew. For all she knew, it could be some sort of monster, demon, blood-sucking fiend - or it just might be...

"Spike!"

He was standing inside the door, and when she walked through the door she couldn't help but notice that there was a slightly disappointed look on his face. It quickly faded, however, when he gave her a smile.

"Well, hi there Dawn. Big Sis around somewhere?"

The grin that had came to her face faded as soon as those words left his mouth. She let out a loud sigh before heading back towards the living room.  
"No, she's out patrolling."

He stared at Dawn for a moment before sighing and following her towards the living room. When she turned to face him, he gave her a slightly amused look.

"What did I say wrong, 'Lil Bit?"

She was about to deny anything, but one look into his eyes told her that he wouldn't believe her. With a sigh, she dropped down onto the couch.

"Everyone's wanting to talk to Buffy, and check on Buffy, and beg Buffy to forgive them..."

Spike shot her a look, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry, Spike. I mean... I know that it's gotta be horrible for her and everything, but... She's been back for over a month now, Spike, and they still are treating her like she's... I mean..."

Dawn looked down at her lap, obviously not able to come up with the words she was looking for. Spike let out a sigh before sitting down beside her.

"I think I know what you mean. It's going to be like that for a while though. Your sis's been going through a tough time."

Dawn sighed again, but this time she didn't seem nearly as upset. In fact, there was almost a twinkle in her eyes.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Of course, she didn't seem all that 'upset' when the two of you were lip-locked in that alley."

If a vampire could blush, Spike's face would have been bright red. He turned to the teenager beside him with surprise shining in his eyes.

"How the bloody hell--"

She merely grinned at him before standing up.

"Let's just say that I'm a better spy than my sister is. Anyway, I really wouldn't mind it that much if you and Buffy started dating. I mean, you're much cooler than Angel - and do I really need to even comment about Riley?"

Spike stared at her for a moment, her words obviously having some type of effect on him. After a moment though, he shook his head and stood up as well.

"I really don't see that happening anytime soon, Nibblet. Remember, I'm evil."

Dawn snorted back laughter when he said those words. She quickly held up her arms in defense, however, as his eyes narrowed.

"I know, I know... you're evil. Still, there are a lot of things that are more evil than you."

The blonde-haired vampire looked at her for a moment before raising his eyebrows. Dawn gave him a grin and then grabbed a notebook and pen from a nearby table.

"I mean it, Spike. There are tons of things that are worse than you. Why don't we think of some, write them down... and then show Buffy the list."

Spike gave her an incredulous look, but he followed her to the kitchen. The two of them sat down at the table and looked at the blank sheet of paper. Dawn thought for a moment, before a grin came to her face. Without saying a word, she leaned down and wrote the word 'Angelus' on the paper.

As soon as she had, Spike cleared his throat loudly and started to say something. Before he could get a word out though, Dawn gave him a look.

"Even when you were the 'Big Bad', you never tried to bring forth the end of the world. That was him and Drusilla. Speaking of which..."

Dawn quickly wrote down the name of the vampiress on the sheet of paper. Spike shot her a look of his own, but she pretended not to even notice it.

"Come on, Spike. Why don't you think of something."

He sat there for a moment, trying to think of something that could possibly be more evil than him. After a few moments, his eyes lit up and he smirked at Dawn.

"Britney Spears."

Dawn shuddered slightly before writing the words 'boy bands.' Then, without even pausing, she wrote down the word 'Warren.' Spike shot her a look, and she merely shrugged.

"Anyone who would make himself a robot for a girlfriend is totally... not evil," she finished quickly. She didn't take the name off of the list though.

Spike didn't say a word, but his grin had become a little forced. The forced look faded, however, as soon as the next item on the list came to mind.

"Why don't you go ahead and write down 'Riley Finn' on that list of yours?"

*

Buffy let out a tired sigh when she walked into her kitchen and found both Spike and Dawn sitting at the table, writing something on a piece of paper.

"Dawn, what are you doing up? Spike, what are you doing here?"

Dawn grinned at her sister before standing up and thrusting a piece of paper into the Slayer's hands. Buffy stared at her for a moment before slowly reading the words written at the top of the page.

"50 Things More Evil Than Spike... God, you've got to be kidding me."

Buffy was about to throw the paper into the nearest trashcan, but she was stopped by the hurt look on her sister's face.

"Fine. I'll read your list and see if there is anything on it that is possibly true."

Both she and Dawn sat down at the table, and then the Slayer started reading the list.

"Let's see what we've got here... people who talk in movie theaters, Principal Snyder, Parker. What the-- never mind, I don't even want to know. Where was I? Oh yeah. Warren, Angelus, Drusilla, Britney Spears, boy bands, Riley Finn... very funny. The Watcher's Council, Faith, Ethan Ra-- come on, he's just pathetic. The Johnsons next door, Santa Claus... I hate to even ask. Why is-- Oh wait, Anya said that he was really-- Oh. Hmm... Buffy when she's mad because her-- okay, I think that I've read enough."

She carefully put the paper down on the table and thought for about two seconds. The she rolled her eyes and looked at both of them.

"You two are insane, did you know that?"

Spike gave her a look before standing up.

"Come on, Slayer. There has to be something on that list that you agree is more evil than me."

Buffy gave him an exasperated look, but she picked up the paper again and read through it quickly. Finally, she sat it down and gave both of them a weak grin.

"Fine, I'll agree that capri pants are _way_ more evil than Spike. Other than that though..."

She rolled her eyes once again before heading out of the kitchen. As soon as she had left, Dawn and Spike glanced at each other. After a moment, Spike sighed and headed towards the door. Dawn watched him for a moment before calling after him.

"Well, at least she agrees about the capri pants... and look on the bright side - she agrees that you're eviler than Angelus."


End file.
